I am still astonished by the hardness of our hearts though we have been rescued by the justice-satisfying-grace of God through Jesus Christ. Loved, forgiven, accepted. A hard heart has forgotten that past sins have been forgiven (See 2 Peter 1:5-9). The hard heart resists the Holy Spirit’s directive through the word of Christ to extend reconciliation to a brother, a sister, a father, a mother, a spouse, a friend, an enemy (Ephesians 4:3). The hard heart excuses itself from love. The hard heart is likely wounded and not well-healed because fear and/or pride has wedged itself in that wound (1 John 4:18). It is no small thing that the apostles greeted the churches with the prayer of "Grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ" (Ephesians 1:2).
Yes "love covers a multitude of sins" and it is the glory of a wise man to "overlook an offense." But when you discover that pain lingers and offense tarries and that resentment remains to become a bitter root that defiles many, it is time to find the power of three words. You may need to practice these words today.
1. "I am loved."
To become holy in the eyes of God is to receive the fierce love of Jesus. To call the benefit of knowing Christ "unmerited grace" seems redundant but is necessary since we want to justify ourselves before God and others. When I have the quiet confidence to confess "I am loved" I do so with my eyes open wide to reality–"the Lord disciplines those he loves" (Hebrews 12:6). Therefore, the writer of Hebrews reaches back to the prophets to say, "strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. Make level paths for your feet, so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed. Make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord" (Hebrews 12:12-14). Fortify yourself with this confession, "I am loved" and then take the appropriate steps to create level ground for yourself and for others.
2. "I am sorry."
Sorrow over sin, over offense is rare. The desire to escape the pain of consequence is common. By whatever motive you come to seek amends with one hurt by you pursue obedience to Christ. Jesus says, "If you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come offer your gift" (Matthew 5:23-24). If I become aware that I am the offender I am to make a move toward reconciliation. Solomon says, "Fools mock at making amends for sin, but goodwill is found among the upright" (Proverbs 14:9). Seek level ground with another at the foot of the cross by saying, "I am sorry."
3. "I forgive you."
Fools fear to tread where Christ has fallen. "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God (Ephesians 4:32-5:2). Forgiveness is a choice that costs. To determine in your heart that the offender does not owe you anything more requires that you abandon any perceived right to exact punishment on them–whether that is to walk out on him, to withhold respect or love from her, or to ignore them. Though forgiveness seems to cost us too much at times, the cost for withholding forgiveness is much greater. If I become aware that I am offended I am to move toward the offender. Jesus says, "If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over (Matthew 18:15)." Jesus continues his teaching on forgiveness in the parable about the unmerciful servant who was shown no mercy in his second appearance before the master, "This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart" (Matthew 18:35). The words "I forgive you" are never wasted but like the other powerful 3-Words, they should not be tossed about like Skittles spilt on tile floors. Rather each of these 3Words should flow from our heart in obedient response to the love poured in our hearts by the Spirit. These 3Words should come from our mouths like arrows of grace full of healing.
If you have truly heard the Saviour say, "I love you," may your Valentines Day be marked by 3Words: I am loved; I am sorry; I forgive you.
